You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
