When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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