This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I need to calm my uterus...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
