I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
