That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize