so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
