My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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