can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
