it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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