Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
