the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
did i just pee glitter
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