does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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