wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
