I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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