people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
