How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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