I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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