tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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