didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
