summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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