you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize