Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
