I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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