It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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