rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
