I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
