It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
