do herpes really smell.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
