My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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