And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
