so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
