dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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