she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
