Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
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