let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
