this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I am one with the molecules
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
