we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just had sex on a roof
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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