i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
