He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
third nipple confirmed
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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