There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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