after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
