he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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