just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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