bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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