Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
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He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
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My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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