Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
