Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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