It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
