I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
