when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
