I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize