Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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