I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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