Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
