well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
