I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
