i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
