Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
