and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize