Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
